This is a blog about my LARP: read it here:

https://mariabumby.itch.io/the-good-the-bad-and-the-uncanny

I want to talk about revelations. I want to talk about contemplating retroactively life and going like – oh I had no idea it would turn out that way. How the hell does any of this even work?

I want to talk about magic moments where you’re really too stunned with how things dropped and lined up or unravelled and you end up with nothing to cling unto and you just did this thing called surrender.

I want to talk about that. As if there is a talking that could encapsulate it. 

I’ve had bad things “shit hits the fan” moments in my life, just like everybody.

I’ve clung to a love that rejected me. I craved for a love and validation that refused to see me. We’ve all been there. It happens.

What’s weird is. Sometimes I find myself being in situations where – I really can’t call it anything else but – a gift. Like a gift sent from the divine that you just meet paths with the right people. The right opportunity. I mean look back at your life right now and just think of the wildest and most blessed things that ever happened to you. It’s almost by accident. None of it was planned or like orchestrated by the mind.

It arrived. Oh boy it just arrived. 

Some people call it grace.

But what stumps me more often than not is how.. It happens just as much as chaos decides to steam roll your attachments too. Those things. They just fucking arrived too didn’t they? Without warning and they just break you open like a good knife and you’re just ordered to feel. Feel the immense gratitude, the immense loss, the immense power, the immense forgiveness, the immense rage, the immense hopelessness, the immense confusion, all and everything in between. It calls you to be Here.

Regardless if you know what to do or not.

One of the craziest things I had to learn as a tarot reader – or as a person who sees energy and is just paid to listen and reflect. Is that people can have the worst shit happening in their life – and be energetically okay. This needing to happen and them being at peace with that. And another person – can have this very small drama, overblown and escalated in the theater of their mind and -them being energetically totalled to what is an etheric equivalent of a harmless mouse. 

What’s weird is, I learned how to have faith. I learned how to see and trust the infinite in people. Wether you call is soul, truth, love – whatever. And say – well that’s uncanny. That thing just doesn’t judge and makes everything centered.

Good , Bad – Uncanny.

I said it in the game, but this is based on a chinese parable. That’s saved my ass innumerable times when I’ve had a good friend asks me “what did they do to deserve this -insert shitty thing here-“

Ah but what if the appointment didn’t fall through cause you’re supposed to meet someone on a different day?

Ah but what if this makes your relationship with your partner stronger? Because of the forgiveness?

Ah what if you’re tragedy will help 10 other people in the future, and you’re experiencing this cause spirit trusts you can solve it and you’re a really good teacher??

It’s like a flipping exercise. Oh it’s good, oh it’s bad. To be honest imagining how things can get worse is something we’re almost trained to do. But never exactly the other way around. No matter how stupid IRL miracles happen.

Meeting your best friend through your worst ex. Finally resolving deep seated issues with a major fall out with another best friend. Lots of redemptive crying in a funeral.

Those things happen! They’re not exactly logical, yet who said life was always logical and sane? Yet all our stories are these meticulously— almost emptied of miracle and chance. As if luck would be cheating, as a sloppy author, you should’ve made the character work for that reward. Or you could’ve made progress slower make it believable.

Under who’s terms? viewpoints? Standards?

Have you ever really stared at some of the shit that’s happened in life? Are you sure?

So yea, that’s my LARP. One of my earliest ones and still I hold still really close to my heart. How uncanny so much of life is. I feel like, with the theater of the mind, we just keep playing this everyday.

With a wise old man nodding in the middle – uncanny.

Always, I love you.

Maria

PS: let me know in the comments if you’ve got your own story of this, or how you feel about retroactively trying to make sense how stuff arrived in your life. Would love to know or I guess just inviting this as a space where that’s also super okay.